Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
