I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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