You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
