It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
