OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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