I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
