JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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