Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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