do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
