Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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