Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
