I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
