She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
