Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
