do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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