At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
