is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
