Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
