On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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