New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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