i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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