my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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