Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
