am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
