Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
