i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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