the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
