Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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