"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
