I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
