I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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