the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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