Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
