Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
