you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
