so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
