I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
