Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
