before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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