Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
