so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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