walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
