didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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