So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
