I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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