lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
