omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
