so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
