fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
