with your own penis?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
