i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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