I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
