We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
